Apology Accepted

Leaders who apologize perceived as more trustworthy, influential

BY Karen Richardson

Despite what you might think, it might actually be better to apologize for that mistake you made in the business report, or the wrong way in which you handled a project. Contrary to the belief that leaders who apologize are seen as weak or incompetent, a study out of the Queen’s University School of Business in Kingston, Ont. found quite the opposite. Victims of mistakes made by leaders who apologized consistently perceived them to be more “transformational”, i.e., ethical, influential, trustworthy, caring and considerate.

In a field experiment, male referees who were perceived as having apologized for mistakes made while officiating hockey games were rated by male coaches as more transformational than when no apology was made.

While the research, published in the Journal of Business Ethics, is drawn from coaches on a hockey field, it still underscores the powerful role that apologizing can play in the workplace, researchers say. “Leaders should re-consider current strategies of ignoring, denying their mistakes, or blaming others for their actions, and adopt instead a more proactive practice of taking responsibility for their actions and, when necessary, provide followers with sincere apologies,” the researchers concluded, adding that this also applies to a workplace setting. “We believe that apologies can play an important role in developing and repairing leadership perceptions in organizations. . . .”

People are often embarrassed or are concerned saying “I’m sorry” will be a sign of weakness or incompetence, or they may fear litigation. Consider Richard Nixon. Did he ever apologize for the Watergate Scandal? He and his staff conspired to cover-up the breaking and entering of the Democratic National Committee headquarters during the election in the early 1970s while the Vietnam war still raged on. Not until many years later in an interview with David Frost—a British talk-show host—did he claim: “I let down my friends. I let down the country. I let down our system of government, and the dreams of all those young people that ought to get into government, but now think it too corrupt.” But was this a real apology?

In a true apology, according to the Queen’s researchers who quote famous sociologists Erving Goffman and Carl Schmitt, the offender admits the act was wrong, accepts responsibility for the offence, expresses empathy, offers penance, and promises not to repeat the untoward behaviour in the future.

What actually motivates us to apologize? Goffman refers to the “splitting of the self”—one half of the person representing the wrongdoing, and the other half sympathetic to the victim, hoping to be forgiven. B.R. Schlenker argues that apologies are more of a self-serving impression management tactic that individuals use to maintain their social standing and save face.

“A sincere apology signals vulnerability and transmits moral meaning, allowing the repair of interpersonal relationships to begin,” researchers say. “There are four types of responses to mistakes: excuses, justifications, denials and apologies—and only one allows the repair of interpersonal relationships to begin.”

Researchers also found that apologies in organizations were less effective when there was a history of multiple offences. “Leaders who apologize must be sincere, learn from their mistakes, and avoid repeating untoward behaviour,” researchers say.

Current business strategists agree on the importance of owning up to a wrongdoing. In an August 16 posting by Online Business Advisor, supervisors are advised that employees respect bosses who “Show an interest in them as people”, “are honest and trustworthy”, “lead by example”, “are consistent and fair”, don’t show favouritism” and, among additional qualities, “can admit they’ve made a mistake and don’t transfer blame”, and “can apologize sincerely”.

This advice falls in line with the importance of humanizing the workplace. We need to be real, not be afraid to show our vulnerability and others will respect us and our work.

And Nixon? Perhaps he had it right. Just five years too late.

Article first published in Your Workplace magazine issue 11-5