Share the Road

It was 5:45 am. I was enjoying my morning pot of herbal tea while reading a book when I heard the unmistakable sound and I knew that my morning was going to be eventful. My beloved and I choose to install a steel roof when we built our home. I have learned to distinguish the different sounds that are amplified by this type of roof–from a scurrying squirrel, to the rubbing stroke of a branch, to the pattering of rain. As I quickly readied myself for work, I said a silent prayer to my beloved who left a half hour earlier. Freezing rain and blowing winds can be dreadful to safely maneuver in a vehicle. With four-wheel drive engaged, it didn’t take long before I caught up to a long trail of vehicles behind one exceptionally slow car. Just as the rain pellets were colliding upon my windshield, various divergent thoughts created havoc in my head. “Cars travelling too slow are more dangerous than speeding cars.” “Drive slow: It’s better to arrive safe than sorry.” “If you can’t drive in this weather you should have stayed home!” “Patience is a virtue” “Oh my. Where did these random thoughts come from,” I asked myself. I took a few deep breaths, eased off the accelerator and chose to become mindful. Do a few extra minutes on the road really matter? What am I in such a hurry to do? And why is every thought of reprimand for the slow driver met with one of understanding? I had no reasonable response except that apparently my past behaviour of going faster to go farther is at odds with my new desire for balance and mindfulness. I eased into the slow flow of traffic and kept my peace. It was at this point that I felt the energy of the other drivers both ahead of me and behind. They were obviously not thrilled with this very slow driver. Many attempted to pass other vehicles on this winding two-lane highway, but safe opportunities were few and the risk was great. As I pondered the lengthy line of traffic behind this slow driver I wondered why he or she didn’t just move over to allow the faster traffic to pass. The driver could then travel at his or her own pace again without the stress of other encroaching vehicles. It was an epiphany moment. It dawned on me that the situation that was playing out in front of me was symbolic of so many of life’s experiences. How many times have we felt the stress of trying to keep up with others when we should just step aside and let them pass? The beauty of our world is the diversity that we each experience, not the drive for sameness. We all travel at a different pace on the same road of life. The trick is to be mindful of this reality and embrace the pace that we are at, knowing full well that we each have a right to be on the road. Don’t speed up just because others want to go faster and don’t enforce slowness by keeping those who want to travel fast behind. Imagine the stress that you would feel when driving in an ice storm with blowing winds sweeping across open fields. To be comfortable and to keep your stress at bay you travel 30km in an 80km zone. Now imagine 14 vehicles behind you clamouring to get by you. Do you feel their desire for you to “step on it?” Can you feel their words, “hurry up you’re making me wait?” Is their desire translated as huge pressure for you? Now imagine how much of a relief it would be–to you and them–if you safely pulled over onto the shoulder, a driveway or a side road and allowed these vehicles to pass. And for those of us who like to move quickly, embrace these moments as a opportunity to be mindful. Life is not about getting from point A to point B the fastest. It is about the journey between these two points. If someone is not sharing the road particularly well, use the time to be grateful for that which you appreciate in your life, or to notice the environment around you. I recently wondered why there were so many hawks in the area. Then I chuckled when I realized that they were always there. I just never took the time to see them. Think of those situations in your life when you feel pressured by the desires of others, and then stand aside. Think of those situations when you are pressuring others, then ease off. Share the road and don’t judge others for their pace. Allow them to do what they want and you will feel so much better by it. I bet that this is exactly what the slow driver felt when he pulled over to let us pass. As for me, I have morning quiet time and herbal tea to encourage mindfulness, balance and peace in my life. Yet, as soon as I left the house, I was back in the game–at least for a moment. Seems counter-intuitive… Apparently I am not at my Point B yet, but I am enjoying the process of sharing my journey with you. How many times have we felt the stress of trying to keep up with others when we should just step aside and let them pass?

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