Wisdom: Get Rid of the Garbage

Getting new ideas into an organization turns out to be much easier than getting the old mindsets and memories out. In some cases, the only word that fits this situation is garbage. There is simply too much useless junk and smelly clutter lying around, blocking attempts to get on with building a better future. Too often, my work takes me into the shadowy and tangled side of workplace life. I am not sure I will ever be comfortable as a toxic handler in troubled organizations, but I have learned to hold my nose and work with others who want to clean up the mess before folks start to get really sick. Actually, it seems that I usually get asked to help when people are experiencing the warning signs of a workplace that is harmful to their spiritual, psychological and physical health. Toxic workplaces are not simply an interesting concept: there’s lots of hard scientific evidence to suggest that they are harmful to the people who work there. When it comes to troubled work environments, it always fascinates me how much effort gets devoted to working on the past. People are constantly working on old grudges, painful memories, abrasive encounters, past failures – picking away at the scab tissue of organizational history. It makes it difficult for wounds to heal. I am forever pointing out in workshops that people can only work on their shared future in the present. You can’t work in the past, that time has gone, never to return. But folks sure seem to like to work on the past, and that blocks them from working on a healthier future in the only time they really have: the present. I suggest that the past can be a burden, something that we carry in our minds (individual and collective) and often putter away at “fixing”. Carrying the past can gradually drag you down, especially if it begins to resemble garbage that should have been left at the curbside years ago. Troubled groups and organizations often have sessions about the future, but I find that much of the conversation seems to deal with their collective past. Getting new ideas into an organization turns out to be much easier than getting the old and memories out. (Letting go is always the toughest stage of adult transitions.) In some cases, the only word that fits this situation is garbage. There is simply too much useless junk and smelly clutter lying around, blocking attempts to get on with building a better future. That’s often the case with groups that claim to be interested in teamwork, but the members have too much “history” to ever engage in supportive collaboration. Here’s a little exercise I use with groups that seem to be too concerned with agenda items related to the garbage pile accumulated over the years. It’s called “Taking Out The Garbage”, and it seems to help folks get on with the future. Actually, it’s a process I adapted from a personal life experience. A few years ago, my beloved live-in therapist of 38 years and I were in the predictable downsizing stage of married life. Yard sales were held, stuff was taken to the local sharing centre, but our garage remained stuffed with the unwanted remains of life together. I assumed that my wife, who happened to be away, wanted the remainder to be simply put out for garbage pick-up. So out it went to the great landfill beyond local environment. Well, it turned out that some of the stuff wasn’t garbage at all. It was just being stored in the garage before fitting into its rightful place in our shared journey. The fact that I had thrown it out led to one of those memorable intimate dialogues that are part of the collective memory of all enduring relationships. So now, before, we consign important stuff to the garbage, we take time to pick it over and compare notes. Both of us have to agree that it deserves to be placed in a bag by the curb. Back to the group exercise. The tools are really very simple: a pile of green index cards and an empty garbage bag. I distribute several cards to each group member and ask them to record what they believe is one item of garbage in the group’s life together–something that is blocking the group from getting on with collaboration about the future. Individuals can have as many cards as they want, but the rule is only one item of garbage per card. As the cards are completed, they are placed into the garbage bag. In toxic groups with a lot of sensitivity about past snubs and irritations, the bag tends to fill up pretty quickly. A bit later, we gather round the table to pick over the garbage. Someone reaches in and pulls out one card, and simply reads what’s written. We then discuss the card–for as long as it takes–looking for a consensus that this is truly garbage and needs to be thrown out. If that’s the agreement, then the card is torn to shreds and put back in the bag. If that happens, then the group members make a commitment to never bring it up again in their conversations together. In a sense, it symbolized letting go of something from the past that is no longer relevant to the group’s future. Sometimes, this process turns messy and raw, exposing some pretty sensitive issues. I have encountered situations where everyone at the table wants to throw out the garbage item, but one person fights the group tooth and nail. For that person, it’s an issue from the past that must be resolved before the future can be created. At times, it’s almost surreal, with the majority trying to tear up a card, while one or two people try to keep it intact. It turns out that one person’s garbage is another person’s keepsake. Even if you can’t see this exercise working with your group or organization, it still makes sense to periodically pick over the accumulated garbage from your shared past. Getting rid of stuff reduces the clutter in our workplace environments, and lets us get on with working on the future in the present. And that’s the real work that is always before us. So what’s garbage in your workplace?

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Wisdom: Get Rid of the Garbage

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Sandy Cotton, PhD

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Sandy Cotton, PhD

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